To Reduce Fear, Make Space for the Pain
Pholus
As I write this the world is gripped with fear of a pandemic; many countries have instituted lockdown measures and the numbers of ill people and deaths continues to grow.
While many astrologers have expounded on the possible effects of the Saturn-Pluto and Jupiter-Saturn conjunctions in Capricorn (plus Uranus in Taurus and Mars in Capricorn this month), the asteroid Pholus remains an overlooked piece of the current world-altering astrology.
Pholus is a centaur asteroid that orbits between Saturn and Neptune. According to the research of David Leskowitz, Pholus indicates root trauma and is correlated to our root chakras. Pholus transits often expose the extent to which we have been unconscious of our traumas— personal and ancestral— and the effects of our Neptunian coping mechanisms that keep us in an unconscious state such as denial, distraction, and addiction.
In short, Pholus reveals the foundational pain that comes from living in a world of scarcity, fear, and disconnection. Most astrologers describe Pholus as having a Pandora-like effect: you can’t contain the pain and revelation once it’s been exposed.
Since the beginning of the year, Pholus has been conjunct the South Node of the moon in Capricorn. This means we’ve been releasing our collective trauma produced by the multi-generational legacy of our world’s systems and structures.
We’re fearful, sick, and fighting for an unequal share of the resources that can keep us alive. We’re out of work, our economy has ground to a halt, and no one knows when things will return to normal.
This pain cannot be put back in a box (though we can numb and ignore it some more).
The Roots of our Pain and Fear
Our current cultural norms that developed from rational materialism and colonialism do not make space for tending to a body’s physical and emotional pain.
For example, many of us born in the 20th century were raised by parents who were taught to create distance from and structure for their infants: we were fed on formula on a schedule, rather than when we needed or wanted breast milk.
Our parents let us “cry it out,” rather than soothing us and teaching us that pain could be handled.
Our mothers worked long hours for unequal pay, or were single mothers, or judged themselves against cultural norms of the “perfect mother.”
Our mothers were oppressed by generations of racism, colonialism, scarcity, and inequality of all kinds.
Most of us, as infants, were held by mothers who had a lot of pain, fear, and self-judgment. (I know that this statement might be hard for some to read; of course, our mothers loved us and did the best they could with the physical and emotional resources they had.)
Here are the effects of not being adequately held as an infant, as described by D.W. Winnicott (emphasis mine):
"An infant who is held well enough is quite a different thing from one who is not held enough. The reason why this special property of childhood care must be mentioned is that in the early stages of emotional development, before the senses have been organized, before there is something called the autonomous ego, very severe anxieties are experienced. In fact the word anxiety is of no use, the order of infant distress at this stage being of the same order as that which lies behind panic, and panic is already a defence against the agony that makes people commit suicide rather than remember."
We are currently in a collective moment of panic where nothing feels safe. We can’t touch anyone or anything, we can’t leave our homes for fear of infection, and we’re suspicious of the food that is delivered to our doorsteps.
Collectively, we’ve returned to states of panic from early childhood or infancy where extreme fear has overtaken our nervous systems.
What we need, more than ever, is to make space to soothe the fear and pain of the past in the present.
Holding the Pain and Fear
How do we do this?
The answer comes from our current predicament in quarantine (and the North node in Cancer): acknowledge it and try to build your capacity to hold it. There are literally no other distractions right now; most of us are at home by ourselves and with ourselves.
In any one moment you probably can’t hold space for the mass devastation wrought by the patriarchy, but you can notice when you are spiraling into fear and panic.
Noticing it builds your capacity to respond and take care of yourself.
There are a few simple steps to holding your pain and fear:
Acknowledge your pain and discomfort when it comes up.
See if you can get beyond your mental story about the pain.
Release sadness and anger through crying and talking about it.
Notice how you feel in your body once you have acknowledged your emotions and taken care of yourself.
Doing this will help you rebuild your relationship to your body, emotions, and ability to respond in a moment of crisis.
This is very simple, perhaps even facile or reductive.
But it’s so simple and yet so hard when our pain wasn’t held as infants and children.
Thanks to Pholus, this pain can’t be ignored anymore so we might as well make space for it and see how we feel.
